How to Have a Positive Career Attitude - The Muse

How to Have a Positive Career Attitude - The MuseHow to Have a Positive Career Attitude Have you ever had a not-so-pleasant experience that causes your mind to automatically jump into autopilot and put its own little spin on the situation? For example, my client Amelia was a finalist for a recent promotion, but in the end, the otherbei candidate was selected. Amelias brain went into overdrive trying to explain why she wasnt chosen. She was sure she wasnt good enough. And because she didnt measure up this time, she figured she would probably never measure up. In fact, she should forget about the idea of being promoted completely.On and on it went- a circle of thinking doom that turned into a torrent of self-deprecation, rather than the isolated incident that it was.Amelias experience is what psychologists call cognitive distortions. Theyre patterns of thinking that take a simple event, apply a very subjective interpretation, and then wreak havoc like a runaway train- all in your headW hen you let cognitive distortions overtake your thinking patterns, you create mora stress for yourself, lower your self-esteem, and erode your self-confidence. Lets look at five common cognitive distortions and how you can take immediate action to counteract those thought processes. 1. Black-or-White ThinkingThis is when life- and all the situations in it- becomes an all-or-nothing game. For Amelia, missing out on one promotion turned into, Ill probably never be promoted in my career ever again, no matter how long I live.In this distortion, you see one failure and project the same fate upon all your future endeavors, as well. Change ItThis is an extreme way of thinking- and its not realistic. When you hear yourself going in this direction, push back. Challenge yourself to think about situations in which youve been successful, received promotions, or been recognized for work well done. 2. Catastrophic ThinkingHas anyone ever accused you of making a mountain out of a molehill? You get some information- for example, that a report you need for a presentation is going to be late- and you immediately spin it into a catastrophic outcome Without the report, the presentation will suck Well all be fired because we wont hit the mark Ill never be able to work in this industry againChange ItWhen you feel yourself delving into a worst-case scenario, ask yourself one question What do I have control over right now? Perhaps you can perfect the rest of the presentation while waiting for the report. Maybe you get on the phone with the people responsible for the report and appeal for an earlier delivery date. Focus on what you can control, and youll see that you can take action- and lower your stress level in the process.3. Filtering the PositivesAmelia had actually accomplished quite a bit. But you wouldnt know if from her perspective on the missed promotion. In reality, she was one of the top performers in the group. Her manager put her in the running for the promotion. She per formed well in the interview process and, with a little more experience, shell probably get another shot at a higher role. But she tuned out all of that to focus on the not-so-positive result I didnt get the promotion I probably never will. She sounds kind of like the office Eeyore- the pessimistic, gloomy donkey known for seeing the downside of just about everything. When you filter out the positives, you distort your thinking to overlook everything youve accomplished- which makes it so much less engaging to go to work Change ItEvery time you acknowledge a negative event or action, force yourself to acknowledge an equally legitimate positive event. To help you do that, create a list with two columns what went wrong and what went right. Youll quickly see theres far more on the right side of the page. 4. Jumping to ConclusionsWeve all done it. You observe something and then decide you know all the meaning behind it often without a shred of fact. Amelia thought, My boss boss doesnt sa y good morning when he walks by my desk. He must hate me. No wonder I didnt get that promotion.Really? The only facts she has are that the boss doesnt greet her in the morning and that she didnt get the promotion. Thats it. From that, she can garner nothing about the boss feelings for her or his opinion on her level of competence. Yet, shes suddenly jumped from he doesnt say good morning, to he must really hate me. Jumping to conclusions at its finest. Change ItWhen you feel yourself climbing the ladder to a faulty conclusion, theres only one question you need to ask yourself Is that a fact, or is that a conclusion Im drawing based on the situation I see? If you stay rooted in facts, youll keep yourself off the jumping-to-conclusions stress bandwagon. 5. The Fallacy of External ControlWhen you see yourself as a victim because of circumstances outside your control, youre under the fallacy of external control. In Amelias case, it might have sounded like this Well, Im not surprised I d idnt get the promotion. My boss has me working so many hours, theres no way I could have had time to prepareIn reality, though, theres no way you can blame your boss when it was you who wasnt prepared for the interview. Blaming others for a situation over which you clearly had choice is simply shirking responsibility. Change ItHeres a simple test to resolve the external control fallacy Go to a trusted advisor or mentor and share your logic. Tell him or her you didnt get the promotion because your boss overworked you and you didnt have time to prepare. Ask him or her to give you unadulterated feedback on your perspective. A trusted advisor will push back and help you see how much control you really had. One of the most important elements in changing your thought patterns is to first recognize when youre having them. When you find yourself wrestling with cognitive distortions, push back to see if those thoughts are based in fact. Finally, develop new thought patterns to counteract the m- or get insight from someone you respect. When youre able to challenge your thinking, youll lower your stress level and build your career confidence.